そもそもは(1)

 わたしの名前は葉摘。 は・づ・み、です。 よろしくね。
 
 そこそこの会社に勤めてて、都内のワンルームマンションで一人暮らし中。 頭、そんなに悪くないよ。
 ビジュアル? そうよね、大事よね、女子にとってビジュアルは。 でもご安心を。 地元の高校に通ってた時、他の学校の高校生と、なんとなんと通っていた学校の先生までがストーカーで捕まるくらいの罪作りなレベルです、って説明したら納得してくれる?
 ああ、でも顔だけが魅力じゃないかも(って、厚かましくてゴメンね。でもほんとにカワイイんだよ)。 たぶん体が嫌らしいんだと今になって思います。 何というか、女の自分が自分の姿を鏡で見て「なんて、スケベなんだろう、このカラダ」と思わず呟いてしまうくらいですから。

 中学生のとき、たまたま見ていたバラエティ番組で、エッチ路線で売っているお姉さんが作るポーズをお風呂の鏡の前で真似してみたら、あれ?私の方がエロくない?と思ったことがきっかけで、高校生の頃になると、ネットで見かけるアイドルや女優のポージングを真似して、うん、やっぱり私は負けてない、と変な自信を持ってしまったのです。 背中から、くびれたウエストにいったん絞り込まれて、そしてプクっと後ろに突き出たお尻に弾かれる姿って、多分わたしが男ならピクっとあそこが反応しちゃうと思うよ。
 ネット、そう、ネットってすごいよね。 好奇心おう盛なティーンエージャーにとって、ネットは異次元空間。 誰も教えてくれない、誰にも聞けないことも、ネットなら何とかなるもん。 夜も寝られなくなるくらい気になることがあって、でもそれを友達に訊いて、ええっ、と引かれてそれっきり絶交なんてこともない。
 私が生まれ育った街は、一応県庁所在地なんだけど、どんどん若者流出中。 そんな明日の無い町に住む人々の最大の楽しみは、他人の噂話しかありません。 保守的なのに、他人への好奇心満載のこんな地方都市で一度でも馬鹿をやると、もう二度と立ち直れません。 下手すると親兄弟全員で引っ越すはめになるのも特に珍しいことじゃない。 そこから抜け出すには、都会で仕事を見つけるしかありません。

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