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投稿者: Auba

　あ、処女じゃないですよ。　それなりにまともにつきあって、あ、なんか良いなこんな男のコ、って男性と巡り会って、ごくごく普通に初エッチしてます。　うん、あれは良かったな。　というかそこに至るまでのたくさんのあれこれが楽しかったのね。
　でもそれも含めて、就職してからの何人かのエッチは全部、楽しかったけど、それほど気持良くなかったんです。　ごめんなさい、男の子たち。　当然、よく言われるような「イク」という体験も無し。
　何なんでしょうね〜これは。　もしかするとわたしが悪いのかも。　セックスってなんだかケモノっぽいと思いませんか？　一度、レトロっぽいホテルで及んだことがあるんだけど、天井に備え付けてあった鏡に映る姿を見てしまったのがトラウマになったのかなぁ。　そのとき自分でも変なわたしだと思ったんだけど、滑稽な動きをする彼の背中とお尻よりも、その下に組み敷かれてあられもない姿を晒している自分の裸体がなんとも魅力的だったこと。
　おかしいよね？　うん、これって変なんだよ。　わかってるんだよ。　でもわかってるんだけど、そうなんだよ。　男に貫かれて、オッパイ揉みしだかれて、キスされて舌入れられて、両足を男の脚に絡ませながら腰を激しく動かしている自分が嫌らしくて最高好きになったのはホントなんです。

　コトが終わって数日後、大学の授業を受けながら、あれはあの男のチンポが良くて気持ちがよかったのか、あられもない姿で痴態を晒している自分の姿を見て気持ちがよかったのか、を考え込んでしまったこともありました。　え？答えですか？　多分後者ですよ。
　ぶさいくな女の子には申し訳ないけど、自分が可愛いと意識している女の子は、おそらくみんなこの世で自分が一番好きなはず（たまに大嫌いにもなるけど）。　そんな自分を心からハァハァさせてくれる男性と出会えれば良いけど、なかなかそんな機会はね…　だからわたしは、最高自分が大好きなわたしをオナニーでかわいがってあげる、って感じなのかなぁ、言葉にすると。

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